On March 23rd at 7:00 PM, there is a charity event benefiting the Loudoun Abused Women's Shelter (LAWS) and the Child Advocacy Center (CAC). Casino Night at the Lansdowne Resort. If you live in Loudoun County Virginia, here is a great way to support your neighbors in need. Their services are comprehensive and extraordinary. Paula Grace Designs, Inc. is a sponsor of the event and I co-lead groups there. I'll be at Casino Night with great friends, wonderful music, food, drink, and games! Hope to see you there!
Tickets my be purchased on their website by clicking here.
Well, I don't really have any great pictures yet ~ but I will. One of my photographers was in attendance taking pictures. I'll show them to you as soon as I get them. The one above was taken with friend's cell phone :) Here I am with some of my gorgeous girlfriends that attended the Gala and served as spotters during the live auction. The live auction was a hoot. I have never been an auctioneer before. It was actually kind of fun! I kept losing my place though. I was hamming it up so much I kept forgetting the amount I was on. I had to ask the audience a couple of times. All in all it was a roaring success. I am still recovering and trying to get my home back in order. My family is glad to have me back. In fact on Sunday, which was a beautiful day, I lounged until early afternoon then took my daughter to Pumpkinville for a little R&R.
Lauren loved the zip line and face painting.
Here is another shot of Gregg Karukas and I. Not a very good photo :( I am so unphotogenic! Bonnie is the only one that can make me look like me! Stay tuned for those. Gregg was phenominal! I danced and danced! By that time the live auction was over so I was free and clear. I have so many people to thank for their support and help with the Gala....
Thank you to our wonderful Sponsors!
General Dynamics Digital Doorway Designs Capitol One AOL TJ Maxx Noblis The Business Bank Verizon Business The Ambit Group Alessia and Roger McIntosh William Berry and Pat Kalinsky Rebecca and Reggie Jones
The Gala Committee!
Linda da Costa Brenda MacEion Dennis Drinkard Stephanie Monroe Carol Ryan Lynn Gautier
Our Amazing Volunteers! Jennifer Brandel Bonnie Cady Judy Hanley Stephanie Houseknecht Nancy Kelley Beth Paleos Amy Shouse Briana Valentino Jennifer Chandler Perinis Rachael Remuzzi Linda McDow Lynne Travis
My Gorgeous Girlfriends and Spotters! Barb MacNeil Karen Dunlap Andie Smarrelli Beverly Janka Tammy Peppe Sharon Placzek Paula Zottoli Pam Keefe Ashna Nayyar
An Extra Special HUGE Thank You to My Wonderful Clients that Helped SOOOOOO Much!
Jim and Theresa Tietjen Christy and Kevin Gallagher Tom and Holly Albert
And last but certainly not least...
My loving family ~ Jim and Lauren ~ who supported me, missed me, and put up with me through these many months of planning. I love you both very, very much!
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I have been busy with the LAWS Gala and work. The Gala is getting close so time on it is increasing with last minute details needing attention. I wanted to let you know that tomorrow, Sunday, October 4th, Sue Curtis, Executive Director of LAWS, and I are speaking on the Spectrum Radio Show with Tom Grooms. It will be broadcast in the morning, 8:00 AM, I believe. If you live in the DC area, it will air on 107.3 and 105.9. You may also listen to it online at 107.3. The Gala is October 16th at the lovely Lansdowne Resort in Leesburg, VA. Tickets are still available so if you'd like to unite against violence, purchase your tickets by clicking here. Jazz great, Gregg Karukas, will be there along with Sharyl Attkisson of the CBS Evening News. I look forward to seeing you there!
Loudoun Abused Women’s Shelter was founded in 1984 by three Loudoun County women, incorporated as Loudoun Citizens for Social Justice and otherwise referred to as LAWS for business purposes. LAWS is a private, non-profit agency with a volunteer Board of Directors that provides leadership, oversight, fundraising, advocacy, and accountability.
Over the past 26 years, LAWS has grown from a small, shelter-based emergency response entity to one of the most comprehensive and holistic domestic violence and sexual assault programs in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Today, with an annual operating budget of $1.1 million and through a dedicated team of 29 staff and more than 70 volunteers, LAWS provides essential services to hundreds of children, families and other individuals in need. These services include:
Legal Services Domestic Violence Services and 24-Hour Crisis Hotline Shelter Services Youth and Children's Services Sexual Assault Services Teen Violence Prevention Program Nurturing Program (educational prevention groups and counseling) The Resourceful Woman Thrift Shop (women and children in our services receive clothing though the shop) The Child Advocacy Center (law enforcement, legal, and psychological services work together to assist children of abuse)
I am very proud to be affiliated with such a stellar organization. I came to be involved with LAWS after a family loss due to domestic violence. Jim's young cousin was murdered by her ex-husband. I am sorry to be so blunt but there really isn't a way to sugarcoat that. That tragic event rocked my family to the core. After conducting my own research on domestic violence, I learned the very sad facts about its prevalence. I knew I had to get involved. Some of you may know that I am Vice Chair of the Board for LAWS. I also inherited the Gala Chair this year.
The LAWS Gala is bigger this year than is previous years. It has to be to meet our needs. The Gala is the largest fundraiser for LAWS. It needs to raise enough to continue the services they offer. Grants and other monies available to LAWS is not enough to cover the costs for this comprehensive not-for-profit. Why is that? Because some monies available to organizations like LAWS is transient. Grants may be awarded on a time-limited basis and public monies may evaporate. Often times when the money leaves, so does the service. Not in LAWS case. They have managed to keep the services that are crucial for the welfare of women and children though fundraising.
A critical need has arisen in the past couple of years ~ the need for a new emergency shelter and transitional housing. The emergency shelter is available for women and children in imminent danger or that have been made homeless by the domestic violence. Last year we had to turn away more than 40 women and their children because there simply was no room for them at our aging 12-bed facility. That meant we had to say “sorry” to one out of every three women who had come to us looking for somewhere to sleep and feel safe. LAWS helped them is other ways of course but still to be turned away at that juncture is beyond sad.
The emergency shelter is designed for a brief stay so that others may be served. Often these families have no place to go to begin resurrecting their lives. That's where transitional housing comes in as there is the capacity to stay longer. During this time the women work with staff to secure permanent housing, get finances in order, and stabilize their children's worlds. Currently their is no transitional housing dedicated to these women and children.
This year's Gala is entitled Raise the Roof. This is to signify that all remaining money after supporting the current programming will be dedicated to building or buying a new shelter with transitional housing. Our goal is to have this available to our clients by 2012. The Gala will be held at the lovely Lansdowne Resort in historic Leesburg, Virginia. You can make a fantastic night of it by staying at the resort and enjoying all the amenities Lansdowne has to offer. For every Gala attendee that stays the night, Lansdowne will give a donation to LAWS! How wonderful is that?!
There will be fabulous entertainment! Gregg Karukas, the extraordinary jazz pianist, will tickle the ivory first. Then the premier Washington, DC based dance band, Diamond Alley, will take the stage so all may dance the night away.
Our emcee for the evening is the critically acclaimed CBS Evening News reported Sharyl Attkisson.
Wonderful food and drink, fantastic entertainment, dance the night away.... all for a great cause.
If you would like to donate an item for the auction, just email me at paula@lawsraisetheroof.com. I'll be very happy to help get your donation to the Gala! All donations for the auction are tax deductible!
If you have any questions I can answer for you, leave a comment or drop me a note. I look forward to working on this with you.
Loudoun Abused Women’s Shelter was founded in 1984 by three Loudoun County women, incorporated as Loudoun Citizens for Social Justice and otherwise referred to as LAWS for business purposes. LAWS is a private, non-profit agency with a volunteer Board of Directors that provides leadership, oversight, fundraising, advocacy, and accountability.
Over the past 26 years, LAWS has grown from a small, shelter-based emergency response entity to one of the most comprehensive and holistic domestic violence and sexual assault programs in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Today, with an annual operating budget of $1.1 million and through a dedicated team of 29 staff and more than 70 volunteers, LAWS provides essential services to hundreds of children, families and other individuals in need. These services include:
Legal Services Domestic Violence Services and 24-Hour Crisis Hotline Shelter Services Youth and Children's Services Sexual Assault Services Teen Violence Prevention Program Nurturing Program (educational prevention groups and counseling) The Resourceful Woman Thrift Shop (women and children in our services receive clothing though the shop) The Child Advocacy Center (law enforcement, legal, and psychological services work together to assist children of abuse)
I am very proud to be affiliated with such a stellar organization. I came to be involved with LAWS after a family loss due to domestic violence. Jim's young cousin was murdered by her ex-husband. I am sorry to be so blunt but there really isn't a way to sugarcoat that. That tragic event rocked my family to the core. After conducting my own research on domestic violence, I learned the very sad facts about its prevalence. I knew I had to get involved. Some of you may know that I am Vice Chair of the Board for LAWS. I also inherited the Gala Chair this year.
The LAWS Gala is bigger this year than is previous years. It has to be to meet our needs. The Gala is the largest fundraiser for LAWS. It needs to raise enough to continue the services they offer. Grants and other monies available to LAWS is not enough to cover the costs for this comprehensive not-for-profit. Why is that? Because some monies available to organizations like LAWS is transient. Grants may be awarded on a time-limited basis and public monies may evaporate. Often times when the money leaves, so does the service. Not in LAWS case. They have managed to keep the services that are crucial for the welfare of women and children though fundraising.
A critical need has arisen in the past couple of years ~ the need for a new emergency shelter and transitional housing. The emergency shelter is available for women and children in imminent danger or that have been made homeless by the domestic violence. Last year we had to turn away more than 40 women and their children because there simply was no room for them at our aging 12-bed facility. That meant we had to say “sorry” to one out of every three women who had come to us looking for somewhere to sleep and feel safe. LAWS helped them is other ways of course but still to be turned away at that juncture is beyond sad.
The emergency shelter is designed for a brief stay so that others may be served. Often these families have no place to go to begin resurrecting their lives. That's where transitional housing comes in as there is the capacity to stay longer. During this time the women work with staff to secure permanent housing, get finances in order, and stabilize their children's worlds. Currently their is no transitional housing dedicated to these women and children.
This year's Gala is entitled Raise the Roof. This is to signify that all remaining money after supporting the current programming will be dedicated to building or buying a new shelter with transitional housing. Our goal is to have this available to our clients by 2012. The Gala will be held at the lovely Lansdowne Resort in historic Leesburg, Virginia. You can make a fantastic night of it by staying at the resort and enjoying all the amenities Lansdowne has to offer. For every Gala attendee that stays the night, Lansdowne will give a donation to LAWS! How wonderful is that?!
There will be fabulous entertainment! Gregg Karukas, the extraordinary jazz pianist, will tickle the ivory first. Then the premier Washington, DC based dance band, Diamond Alley, will take the stage so all may dance the night away.
Our emcee for the evening is the critically acclaimed CBS Evening News reported Sharyl Attkisson.
Wonderful food and drink, fantastic entertainment, dance the night away.... all for a great cause.
If you would like to donate an item for the auction, just email me at paula@lawsraisetheroof.com. I'll be very happy to help get your donation to the Gala! All donations for the auction are tax deductible!
If you have any questions I can answer for you, leave a comment or drop me a note. I look forward to working on this with you.
I want to thank all my blogger, Facebook, and twitter friends who have graciously agreed to spread the word ~ Sherry & John, Cheryl, Jeanette,Katrina, Kristin, Julia, Sarah, Crystal, Cassandra, and Karen! Your support means a great deal to me :) If this event moves you, please join in the Facebook and twittering of the post.
For Timeless Tuesday number ten, charity ~ generous actions or donations to aid the poor, ill, or helpless ~ is my timeless classic for today.
The tender act of giving to another just for the sake of giving, aiding, and loving will never go out of style. Coming together as a community ~ community defined as anything from a neighborhood to the world as a whole ~ is a precious energy source that can make anything better, safer, cleaner......
I grew up with a mom that did charity work no matter how busy she was. She always found time to give back. That value was internalized by me hook, line, and sinker.
Charity is today's timeless classic. You know my main charity is the Loudoun Abused Women's Shelter (LAWS). LAWS is a not for profit comprehensive organization aiding victims of domestic violence, sexual abuse, and sexual assault. The also do prevention work with parenting classes and counseling. Their link is always on my right sidebar. I am currently planning a Gala fundraising event for them. As the details solidify, I'll fill you in.
Let me know what things you do to give back. I'd love to hear them.
Now it is your turn to share your posts about classics or trends you hope become timeless...
1) Add your permalink below ~ not your blog's address in general but the specific post you want people to visit. To obtain the actual post link, click on the title of your post once you have published it and copy and paste the URL into Mister Linky.
2) Leave your name and say a couple of words to describe your post (e.g. "Coco Chanel suits" or "Classic interior design for children" or "Delicious meals in a snap."
3) Copy and paste the Timeless Tuesday logo button (on my right sidebar) to your Timeless Tuesday posts. This is a sure way for your readers to know you have joined in the party.
4) Link back to the host blog, that's me ~ Paula Grace Designs Blogspot Timeless Tuesday ~ so all the bloggers that joined the party will receive many interested visitors.
I added this first paragraph 2/17/2010. John has been taking a lot of heat since the interview in Playboy. Not his best use of expressions. He has sung about not choosing words well. Does that make him less of an artist? ~ no; less of an influence? ~ no. The heat is because of his influence or why would people care. Lets not allow a few ill spoken words negate his talent and generosity.
On with the January 28th addition and original post....
I wanted to re-post this because I have received numerous emails from women who have experience domestic violence. They did not want to leave a comment for anonymity purposes but the response has been overwhelming.
I have also received inquires about why I am specifically asking John Mayer. Good question. There are many artists and celebrities that would likely command the same draw and bring a louder voice to the issue ~ Sara Bareilles, Taylor Swift, Sandra Bullock, Mary J. Blige, Jennifer Aniston….. there are countless people. But why John? For several reasons ~ John seems to be a very generous person. He has stepped up to the plate for our servicemen, for our children with Save the Music (I attended that concert in California), and now for the people of Haiti.
The one thing that appears to be missing from John’s charities is one specifically focused on women. Of course John has every right to support what ever charities or causes he likes or believes in. I think about it like this ~ John has an enormous fan base. I think it is safe to say that the majority are women. Perhaps not by much, so let’s say 56% (9/16) of his fan base is female. Should John do a concert for 20,000 fans, 11,200 of them will be women. Fact ~ One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. That means that 2800 of the women in his audience will experience domestic violence in her life time. That, my friends, is a lot of women. Multiple that by concert after concert; John is on tour right now. Still, why John? Because he is one of the most influential men of our time. If he happens to say, “You don’t deserve it; it’s not your fault. There are places out there that can help you.” maybe, just maybe a woman or two or two hundred in the audience will actually hear him and take it in. I think there is something significant about a man, an influential man, speaking out about domestic violence. What better way to start that process than by helping to erect a safe place for women and children to go. I don’t mean to lay this all on him ~ really, I don’t. But I think it would be outstanding if he stepped up to this plate.
Now I have no way to directly contact him or his people. There is no contact information on his website. So I have been tweeting him. He does not follow me ~ go figure ~ but I know that if he checks the @JohnCMayer on the right sidebar, all tweets mentioning him will appear, My hope was that people who read this and believe in the cause would also send John a tweet with the post attached. Even if you're not following John, you can still send a tweet. I have been tweeting but I suspect he receives hundreds, perhaps thousands, a day. Maybe if there are more tweets from many people with this post attached, he would read it. It's a long shot but I think it is worth the effort.
Read on to find out more and see the original post. If you would like to make a donation, you can always find the link on my right sidebar or just click here.
My family and I will be in the house at your February 20th DC show. We’ll actually be celebrating my daughter, Lauren’s, 7th birthday with you. She’s hoping you will sing ‘Superman’ (aka 83). Great song. But that’s not why I am writing.
This may be an unusual method of communicating. I’m sure the usual way is for my people to call your people…. I don’t have any people ~ at least not that particular kind. It’s just me. I could try emailing your people but would the information reach you? If it did, would something get lost in translation? That also seems impersonal. So I’ll try direct.
I am writing you to tell you a story about an amazing place. It’s a place where women and children can find a safe haven, a place where parents can learn nurturing skills, where moms and children can go to talk through very frightening issues, and seek legal council to protect herself in battle for her safety and that of her kids, where children can be interviewed only once to reveal to law enforcement agencies unthinkable things about someone who was supposed to love and care for them ~ it use to be they needed to be interviewed many times, reliving it over and over. I am only scratching the surface with this list. The haven I am referring to is the Loudoun Abused Women’s Shelter (LAWS). A comprehensive not-for-profit agency that serves victims of domestic violence. I am on the Board. We have a problem.
Some may think that reaching out to you is a crazy thing to do, even silly. But I have a reason. I am committed to ending as many domestic violence situations as I humanly can. I feel quite passionate about it. Why? Our cousin. A beautiful, intelligent woman and loving mother. Her life was taken by her ex-husband while their young teenage son was in the home, terrified beyond belief. She died a tragic death and the world as we knew it changed. I think about all the ‘What ifs’ people that loved her must try to comprehend each day. Her son, ‘What if I tried to stop him….?’ Her parents, whom she and her son lived with, were away on a trip. ‘What if we didn’t go….?’ Her boyfriend that dropped her off at the house not knowing he was inside ‘What if I went in…?’ Every ones’ lives changed that day including mine. My heart sank to a new low. It was then that I committed myself to doing what I can to help end the abuse, the fear for as many as possible.
Our problem. We need a new shelter. The shelter is the actual place where moms with their kids can stay to escape a potential lethal situation. Our current shelter is ill equipped to handle the demand for its use. We have had to turn away women and children who need a safe place because there was no room. It was purchased many, many years ago. Our county has grown by leaps and bounds since then ~ so has the property value. The expense to purchase or build is out of reach for a not-for-profit like us without something perhaps just short of a miracle. The current shelter is positioned on land such that we cannot expand. There is no backyard for the children to play in. It met the needs of a time long ago ~ not now.
We do fundraising, of course. Yet, the fundraising supports the current programs. There is little, if any, left over. We scratch our heads wondering what can we do. I don’t do well with feeling helpless. I don’t want to throw my hands up in the air and say it can’t be done. I don’t want another ‘What if….?” I don’t want to read about a woman we had to turn away ending with the same fate as my cousin.
Our largest fund raiser is our Gala. A very well attended event. We have music, dancing, good food and drink, and a wonderful silent auction. People leave with a generous feeling in their heart. Even with this being our largest fundraiser, the funds attained would need to double to solve our problem. The down payment on a new shelter needs to be substantial in order for LAWS to be able to afford the monthly mortgage. It would take something larger than life to accomplish that. That’s where you come in, Dear John. A gifted artist with an allegiance of fans. When I think of a person who fits the ‘larger than life’ bill, I think of you.
Our Gala is planned for Friday, October 15th, 2010. I’d happily change the date if needed. Logistically, where we have it is a stone’s throw from Dulles International Airport. It is a rather intimate event ~ not overwhelming. An ideal setting for a meet and greet with a star. A draw that will allow us to command a fair amount for a seat. An amount that will afford us the down payment we need. Everyone will still leave with a generous heart and the thrill of a lifetime. So I am asking you, please, will you be our shining star?
Thank you very much for your time.
Paula Grace
Domestic Violence Facts: 1) One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.
2) An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.
3) 85% of domestic violence victims are women.
4) Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.
5) Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
6) Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.
7) Witnessing violence between one’s parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next.
8) Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.
9) 30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household.
10) Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner.
11) In 70-80% of intimate partner homicides, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before the murder.
12) Less than one-fifth of victims reporting an injury from intimate partner violence sought medical treatment following the injury.
13) Intimate partner violence results in more than 18.5 million mental health care visits each year.
My family and I will be in the house at your February 20th DC show. We’ll actually be celebrating my daughter, Lauren’s, 7th birthday with you. She’s hoping you will sing ‘Superman’ (aka 83). Great song. But that’s not why I am writing.
This may be an unusual method of communicating. I’m sure the usual way is for my people to call your people…. I don’t have any people ~ at least not that particular kind. It’s just me. I could try emailing your people but would the information reach you? If it did, would something get lost in translation? That also seems impersonal. So I’ll try direct.
I am writing you to tell you a story about an amazing place. It’s a place where women and children can find a safe haven, a place where parents can learn nurturing skills, where moms and children can go to talk through very frightening issues, and seek legal council to protect herself in battle for her safety and that of her kids, where children can be interviewed only once to reveal to law enforcement agencies unthinkable things about someone who was supposed to love and care for them ~ it use to be they needed to be interviewed many times, reliving it over and over. I am only scratching the surface with this list. The haven I am referring to is the Loudoun Abused Women’s Shelter (LAWS). A comprehensive not-for-profit agency that serves victims of domestic violence. I am on the Board. We have a problem. Some may think that reaching out to you is a crazy thing to do, even silly. But I have a reason. I am committed to ending as many domestic violence situations as I humanly can. I feel quite passionate about it. Why? Our cousin. A beautiful, intelligent woman and loving mother. Her life was taken by her ex-husband while their young teenage son was in the home, terrified beyond belief. She died a tragic death and the world as we knew it changed. I think about all the ‘What ifs’ people that loved her must try to comprehend each day. Her son, ‘What if I tried to stop him….?’ Her parents, whom she and her son lived with, were away on a trip. ‘What if we didn’t go….?’ Her boyfriend that dropped her off at the house not knowing he was inside ‘What if I went in…?’ Every ones’ lives changed that day including mine. My heart sank to a new low. It was then that I committed myself to doing what I can to help end the abuse, the fear for as many as possible.
Our problem. We need a new shelter. The shelter is the actual place where moms with their kids can stay to escape a potential lethal situation. Our current shelter is ill equipped to handle the demand for its use. We have had to turn away women and children who need a safe place because there was no room. It was purchased many, many years ago. Our county has grown by leaps and bounds since then ~ so has the property value. The expense to purchase or build is out of reach for a not-for-profit like us without something perhaps just short of a miracle. The current shelter is positioned on land such that we cannot expand. There is no backyard for the children to play in. It met the needs of a time long ago ~ not now.
We do fundraising, of course. Yet, the fundraising supports the current programs. There is little, if any, left over. We scratch our heads wondering what can we do. I don’t do well with feeling helpless. I don’t want to throw my hands up in the air and say it can’t be done. I don’t want another ‘What if….?” I don’t want to read about a woman we had to turn away ending with the same fate as my cousin.
Our largest fund raiser is our Gala. A very well attended event. We have music, dancing, good food and drink, and a wonderful silent auction. People leave with a generous feeling in their heart. Even with this being our largest fundraiser, the funds attained would need to double to solve our problem. The down payment on a new shelter needs to be substantial in order for LAWS to be able to afford the monthly mortgage. It would take something larger than life to accomplish that. That’s where you come in, Dear John. A gifted artist with an allegiance of fans. When I think of a person who fits the ‘larger than life’ bill, I think of you.
Our Gala is planned for Friday, October 15th, 2010. I’d happily change the date if needed. Logistically, where we have it is a stone’s throw from Dulles International Airport. It is a rather intimate event ~ not overwhelming. An ideal setting for a meet and greet with a star. A draw that will allow us to command a fair amount for a seat. An amount that will afford us the down payment we need. Everyone will still leave with a generous heart and the thrill of a lifetime. So I am asking you, please, will you be our shining star?
Thank you very much for your time.
With love and respect,
Paula Grace
Domestic Violence Facts: 1) One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.
2) An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.
3) 85% of domestic violence victims are women.
4) Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.
5) Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
6) Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.
7) Witnessing violence between one’s parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next.
8) Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.
9) 30% to 60% of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household.
10) Almost one-third of female homicide victims that are reported in police records are killed by an intimate partner.
11) In 70-80% of intimate partner homicides, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before the murder.
12) Less than one-fifth of victims reporting an injury from intimate partner violence sought medical treatment following the injury.
13) Intimate partner violence results in more than 18.5 million mental health care visits each year.
As many of you know, I am on the Board for LAWS. We absolutely need a new shelter. We had to turn away women ans children last year due to 'no room at the inn.' It made the front page news in the Washington Post Loudoun Section. I have a link to LAWS at all times on my right sidebar. Tis the season for giving. If you would like to make a donation to LAWS, please click here or contact me directly if you would like your donation to specifically go towards the new shelter ~ paula@paulagracedesigns.com.
First I need to say that this post is my opinion, belief, value system, etc. I have featured some amazing women on my blog this week and I want to continue in that stream. I am not posting about a specific woman today but about women in general.
My thoughts are forever connecting and expanding; that usually takes me to new places in my mind. I read an article in the Washington Post that got me thinking ~ as the Post always does. It was called In Art We Lust. The caption under the title reads "At second blush, classic works are allowed to rise to their full erotic potential." Please read it for yourself. It may evoke your own thoughts and feelings and I would love to hear them.
Women have always been depicted in art. Why? Because the women's body is unsurpassed in it's beauty.
One look at Gisele and you can see why. Men want to look at women they consider beautiful and want to imagine having sex with them. As if that is a surprise to anyone. So women have been depicted in art often as nudes. There has been many wonderful pieces of art devoted to nudes.
Canova, the famous sculptor, did several including the one below.
He also did men. But covered the genitalia with a fig leaf.
I think women look at men they find attractive and wonder what it would be like to have sex with them too. Does that surprise anyone? I doubt it ~ if you're honest with yourself. And why not? Sex is pleasurable. I think for women, there are so many double standards that if a certain generation of women states for the record they like sex, it would almost be taboo. I believe that 'sex' was experienced as painful by prior generations, and perhaps still is by some women today. It can be painful if foreplay never enters the picture. Hmmm??? Where is the love, where's the pleasure?
Where am I going with this... well there is also another side of art depicting women. There are countless pieces that depict women being ravaged apparently against their will, there are scenes of violence towards women. 'Sex' can also be against one's will ~ this is known as rape. All of these have been depicted in art. Why? For power and control. Violence against a woman is an issue of power and control. Those that depict these events in art either have distinct issues with power and control or were trying to shed light on the issue. If we consider what is happening in Uganda ~ we can see that the issue is a major one ~ major.
In Uganda and other countries in Africa, the issue is so in-grained, so cultural that outside intervention is the only way to end it. Much like outside intervention had to occur to stop Hitler. There were those that believed differently than he but risked being persecuted if they were defiant. Is the issue in Uganda so different? Lives of women and girls are taken daily. Daily.
The statistics and laws in our own country (US) (please excuse the link ~ just click on the top link when the Oops! page comes up; I don't know why it won't go directly) about domestic violence would make your jaw drop. This country has learned by making mistakes ~ domestic violence is no different. Many women died with little consequence for the abuser. It wasn't until 1994 ~ 1994~ that the US Congress passed the Violence Against Women Act as part of a federal crime bill. That was not that long ago ladies. And we wonder why we still feel disrespected sometimes. It was relatively okay by our government standards to be disrespected. You know I am on the Board of Directors at LAWS (Loudoun Abused Women's Shelter). You may help by clicking here.
This is all very heavy, I know. But I wanted to talk about what we can do for our girls. You have read on my blog that I think we perpetuate the ideal beauty ~ as in Gisele ~ to a height of the God-like proportions. Do I think the gorgeous Gisele and others who look like her are to blame? NO! They look like that just like I look the way I do. It is believing that these gorgeous creatures are the standard, that is how one SHOULD look because that's what beautiful. Bullshit! Do I like to feel beautiful, be seen as alluring ~ of course. I would be lying if I said differently. However, I was raised to believe that the beauty on the inside is significantly more important.
Let's look at another woman I have written about.....
This is film director Jane Campion. Did you see the movie The Piano? A magnificent movie if you ask me. What she depicted in the movie was incredible ~ an obscure path to love. That came from within her. That is one beautiful woman!
My mom is an immigrant. She came to this country in the 1950s by herself ~ unheard of at that time ~ a woman coming to a new country by herself?!! She came here to study at a university. She met my dad and got married. More typical of that time. Then my dad became disabled. My mom had three children to take care of pretty much on her own (ages 7, 6, and 4 at the time). She had no family in this country. She relied on friends. She relied on herself. When money got tight, she opened her own school and taught Spanish. She was very successful. She raised us. She did volunteer work ~ always ~ to this day. Here's what I value, what I believe ~ because she taught me:
1) Confidence 2) Value Education ~ development your mind and then use it 3) Independence ~ rely on yourself ~ its a sure thing 4) Kindness 5) Empathy 6) Love 7) What to wear ~ be a lady 8) Be mindful of your manners 9) Help others ~ be generous 10) Be beautiful inside first then outside 11) Be strong
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all perfect ~please! ~ but those values and beliefs sunk in. These values and beliefs have sustained me. These are what we can give our girls. I have added to the list:
12) Stand up for yourself and for others who need help doing so 13) It's ok to be afraid just don't let it rule you ~ venture forward with the fear informing you along the way 14) Speak your mind ~ clearly, concisely 15) Feel your feelings ~ pay attention to them ~ let them help guide you 16) Be well-rounded 17) Be open minded 18) Lead 19) Enjoy life 20) Be respectful
I believe this is how a little girl becomes a beautiful woman ~ maybe an amazing woman. Perhaps even help them avoid or detangle themselves from an unhealthy or abusive relationship.
I have written about Lauren many times. You know I expose her the arts as often as I can. She has the theater bug now and enjoys doing plays. My daughter is six years old. Lauren looks the audience in the eye, she articulates her lines so all can hear her. She is confident. Do I beam at her from the audience ~ you bet I do. Its funny, I could always hear my mom in the audience when I performed in shows. She clapped so loud and yelled Brava! I was a little embarrassed by it at the time (being a tween). But now, I appreciate every clap, every standing ovation (even if it was only her). Why? Because she believed in me ~ that came across loud and clear. Now I believe in Lauren. What greater belief can there be?
Oh yeah, the lovely Gisele volunteers too, just like my mom, just like me. How gorgeous are we??!
Please share your values and beliefs to help make little girls into beautiful, strong women ~ we're all in this together. P.S. Would my list change if I was raising a little boy? No except for one thing ~ I'd teach him how to dress well ~ but not like a lady.
You all know that I am on the Board of LAWS. Last night, my husband and I attended the their Gala. The Gala specifically supports the children's services. What an evening! Great cause, great people, wonderful food and drink.... and dancing. Jim and I danced like maniacs. Very fun! There was also a silent auction, a blind bid auction, and a live auction. Many of my friends donated items and all were handsomely sold. I donated a Virtual / E-Decorating Design, which also sold well. Phew! Some photos for you.
Folks pondering what to bid on.
There were several wonderful trips for the taking ~ African safari, Cabo.....
Hmmmm?? Am I still the highest bidder???
This is the blind bid table... exciting spot to be.
Jewelry table.... I looked there for a long time....
Of course, Washington Redskins donated items for the Gala. They always support LAWS!
We made some purchases ourselves. We bought a lovely dinner for four prepared by a certified chef in our own home. Love that! Jim bought a fancy thermostat ~ which is funny because when we were reviewing items for the auction folks wondered if the thermostat would sell. I chimed in, "Yes because my husband will bid on it." Sure enough, he did. He also won the blind bidding for a round at a swanky private golf course. He said, "you don't want to know how much I bid." No I don't, it made him happy and that's all that matters.
There we are #64....
There's Jim and a buddy enjoying watching the frenzy below... the final bidders as the auction closes.....
Please take my bid!!!
There were many lovely people enjoying themselves AND supporting a great cause and organization....
Below, the gorgeous gal in blue strapless dress is Ruth, our Board Chairwoman.
These lovely ladies are volunteering their time to make sure the Gala runs as smooth as possible! Thank yo very much. You girls did a magnificent job!
I really had a wonderful time. The best part of it ~ a great time was had supporting an important cause and a stellar organization doing all they can to help those in need.
How wonderful!
If you would like to make a donation to support LAWS, please click here.Thank you!
I am a designer mainly of interior spaces, accessories, furniture, and such. I am also a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. I am a music & art lover. I talk about my daughter all the time. I laugh out loud and dance every chance I can get. I believe in giving back and moving forward without forgetting the past. My blog is primarily about interior design, my family..... Click on my picture to know me even better.
On March 23rd at 7:00 PM, there is a charity event benefiting the Loudoun Abused Women's Shelter (LAWS) and the Child Advocacy Center (CAC). Casino Night at the Lansdowne Resort. If you live in Loudoun County Virginia, here is a great way to support your neighbors in need. Their services are comprehensive and extraordinary. Paula Grace Designs, Inc. is a sponsor of the event and I co-lead groups there. I'll be at Casino Night with great friends, wonderful music, food, drink, and games! Hope to see you there!
Hmmmm?? Am I still the highest bidder???
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