Conversations with Lauren

This is my daughter, Lauren, and I. She's my heart. Tonight we were having a conversation about a little girl in her school that has a rare form of cancer. The school is rallying around her and the family. It is both sad and inspirational at the same time. Sad for the little girl and her family ~ lovely to see the school as a whole providing emotional and financial support.

We speak occasionally about cancer as we have quite a bit of it ourselves in my husband's family. Grandma Tootie, Jim's mom, died one month after we got married from kidney cancer. One month after that, I was pregnant. Not only that, Jim's sister became pregnant three weeks after me. What are the odds of that??!! I firmly believe Tootie decided in heaven that she wanted more of her descendants on earth so she whispered into God's ear and voila!

Our talk about the little girl in her school naturally brought us to speak about Grandma Tootie. Lauren said, "I miss her." Lauren never met Grandma Tootie of course. I told Lauren that Grandma Tootie is with her every day watching over her. Lauren said, "I know, she tells me she loves me. I hear her voice in my head. Sometimes she helps me in school. She'll tell me answers in my head." "That's wonderful," I said. Wow! I thought.

This is not the first time Lauren has told me about such things. My dad died in 1989. We speak about him too. One morning Lauren said to me, "Grampa Bogdan came to see me." "Really," I said. "Yup, he came to me last night. He was there and I saw him. I saw him and I sat up in bed and smiled at him and he smiled back. Then I went back to sleep." "How did you know it was Grampa Bogdan?" I asked. "I just knew," she said. Wow!

I don't show Lauren my astonishment when we have these conversations. I'm just happy that we have them... and happy that she has conversations with our parents no longer with us. It makes me feel like they are truly watching over her especially when Jim and I are not right by her side. They are by her side. Wow!